Why You Treat Me Like a Dog?: My Memory of Challenger

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

My Memory of Challenger - January 28, 1986

There are historical events that occur where people look back and say that they always will remember what they were doing at the time they heard of the event. I think of President Kennedy's assassination in those terms, and perhaps the death of Elvis Presley or maybe John Lennon's murder. This Saturday will be the twentieth anniversary of the space shuttle Challenger disaster.

For me, the Challenger disaster was the first event in my life that affected me in that President Kennedy kind of way. I'm not sure if others share this same feeling, but it affected me powerfully. As the son of an electronic engineer, with an uncle who has worked in aerospace, and also growing up in Southern California, the aerospace industry has been an omnipresent and important part of my life.

One of my father's friends was an engineer at Rockwell International, and was a part of the team that designed the space shuttle series. For my tenth birthday, he brought me a collection of artist's renditions of the space shuttle in action, way before its maiden flight. I proudly decorated my room with the prints, and they were fixtures on my wall for many years.

In high school, a group of friends and I drove out to Edwards Air Force Base one chilly morning to watch the space shuttle Discovery land after one of its early missions. We parked on the dry lake bed with the various other spectators and had a grand old time. We heard Discovery's two sonic booms, and then watched it glide to a perfect landing. A truly awesome sight.

The morning of January 28th, 1986 I was a freshman in college at UCLA. That first year of college, I lived at home with my parents. For the early space shuttle missions, a launch was still considered a big deal, and they were televised live. I got up that morning and was looking forward to watching the launch of Challenger. The launch had been postponed several times for various reasons, and I wondered if it would go off as planned. There was much excitement about the astronaut Christa McAuliffe, who was to be the first teacher sent to space. Besides McAuliffe, the Challenger crew consisted of mission commander Francis R. Scobee; pilot Michael J. Smith; mission specialists Ronald E. McNair, Ellison S. Onizuka, and Judith A. Resnik; and payload specialist Gregory B. Jarvis. Christa was also listed as a payload specialist.

As the launch occurred, and the explosion followed, I remember sitting on my parents' bed, alone at home, watching with disbelief. Tears streamed down my face as I watched Challenger explode and break up. I watched for a while longer, and with a heavy heart, left for class.

When I arrived at the biology lab section that morning, I was struck by how little it seemed to matter to my classmates. I walked in and everyone seemed to be behaving normally. There was no sense that a tragedy had occurred, and I remember feeling confused about it. For some reason, I felt like no one really cared about it, at least not as much as I did. I turned to my lab partner and asked if he knew that Challenger had blown up and he said that he did, but didn't say anything else about it. The lab instructor got up, gave us the morning's assignment, and it was business as usual.

Of course later I watched all the news coverage and heard President Reagan's speeches about the heroic astronauts. I mourned their deaths too, and mourned the first casualty of the shuttle program. Years later when Columbia broke up on its return to earth it upset me as well, but it wasn't the same as that day when Challenger exploded.

In my life, there have only been a few events that have impacted me in the same way as the Challenger disaster. The day when Saddam Hussein lobbed the first Scuds at Israel is one, and of course, Sept 11th will also stick with me forever. The latter two cases are days when I felt a sense of danger not necessarily for myself, but for people and places that I loved so much. Many people were upset and worried by the Scuds and the first Gulf War, and 9-11 of course will go down in history as a day that changed the world forever. On January 28th, 1986 I didn't feel like anyone was in danger (other than the astronauts of course) and I don't think it changed the world. But I definitely lost some of my childhood hopes and innocence that day, and I think that is why it affected me so powerfully. I will always remember that day.

- posted by wanderer @ 9:54 PM

Comments:

Great post, Wanderer. I too, remember that day...watching t.v. in pure disbelief. Definitely one of those unforgettable moments. The fact that an innocent (by that I mean that being an astronaut wasn't her chosen profession) school teacher was a victim to the disaster seemed to make it all the more horrifying. Kennedy, Lennon and 911 are all etched into my memory and heart as well.

# posted by

cruisin-mom : 1/26/2006 8:21 AM

I was lost in the South Bronx. For some reason, my father was driving me to Yeshiva University, where I was in school. I don't remember why. Maybe I missed a bus or something.

And we had to get off the Cross Bronx Expressway and got lost trying to get back to the bridge to Washington Heights. And we were driving around and randomly stopping and talking to street people (scary thought).

I think we were listening to Art Raymond's Jewish radio show when they broke in and announced the explosion.

# posted by

PsychoToddler : 1/26/2006 11:59 AM

The day has come and gone, and there was little commemoration that I could see (whether in the news or on the Blogosphere). I guess its appropriate in the whole scheme of things. At least I got to share my thoughts. Thanks CM and PT for your comments.

# posted by

wanderer : 1/29/2006 8:45 AM

What a beautiful post, Wanderer.

I will never forget that fateful day. It was devastating. I was a senior in high school and Judy Resnik was a hero of mine. I lived in Cleveland and she was from a neighboring city (Akron) and we are both Jewish women who love science and space program.

What a tragedy.

# posted by

Stacey : 1/30/2006 9:15 PM

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